Have you ever?
Have you ever given so much of yourself then turn around full of someone else. I have! Have you given so much of yourself and carried the weight of others so much that you are heavy with stuff that never belonged to you? Yeah, me too. Have you held back your thoughts and adjusted your posture on matters just so others can stay comfortable. Yep, me too. Have you thought “I will be ok” sacrificing your feelings to protect the feelings of others. Dang, me too. Have you swallowed words that needed to be said to protect the wrong in others so much that you become constipated? I know, me too! Have you prayed for others, neglecting your own petitions and declarations? I know, I know!
If you respond yes to any of these questions you are not alone. I promise you.
It took me some time to realize that what I thought was balance was actually unhealthy compromise. It was even more evident when I was in need of what I gave and it was not where I left it. The ROI on the time and the words was not what I expected, you know the way I gave it. Yet, I was left with “stuff” that didn’t belong to me.
Please hear me when I say being a helping hand, ear or voice in a time of need is all good. But also hear me when I say don’t leave walking away with someone else’s stuff. The piled on heaviness from you taking on crosses that aren’t yours to bear. We are not good friends/partners if we carry the weight of others while they walk away light as a feather. We are effective friends when we give tools and strategies to help people navigate their journey to “feel better” Avenue.
This would be a good time to reflect and ask yourself some questions, and wait for the Answer. Be intentional not only about taking things back but gracefully dropping off those things that don’t and never have belonged to you. Give yourself permission to be the person that helps but not the person that enables. Being that person that can be supportive and hopeful with a listening ear is a gift. Be grateful for that.
A wise woman once taught me about intercession. Intercession is a gift and gifts shouldn't come with burden. If you are interceding and it becomes heavy then you have carried it farther than your capability. As an intercessor you are a bridge. The person has reached territory that they can not access without the bridge and the Answer is on the other side of the bridge. As the intecessor you have the gift to take the information to the other side of the bridge to the Answer. Because you are not the Answer, you are the bridge. Any bridge that reaches its weight capacity is bound to collapse. Vehicles don't sit on bridges they pass through over bridges. The Answer on the other side will do that, answer!
As you settle in to this life built on intention go get your character qualities back! Be the bridge that doesn't collapse.
Until next time!
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My name is Kamela (like Pamela with a K :) and I am fairly new to blogging. I am always thinking and I want to share my thoughts with anyone willing to listen. I am a wife and a mother of 5 in a blissfully blended family. I enjoy cooking, crafting, entertaining, encouraging and making people feel better when they left me than when they met me. I have a passion for women reaching their full potential and trusting their dopeness along the way. There is absolutely nothing we can't do! I am learning and accepting this about myself more and more and each day. My goal is to be transparent and share insight and ah ha moments with all of you that are reading. I encourage you to comment and share your thoughts and make recommendations for other topics as well. Let's get to blogging!